Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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