and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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