Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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