You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
