Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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