On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
