i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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