Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
