Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
