Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
