Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
