no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize