It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
