Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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