There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
