Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
