Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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