They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
