the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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