Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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