farters have to be the big spoon...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
