Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
