let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
