id be glad to
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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