I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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