I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
