We won't sleep together?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i now understand why vodka
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
