Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
