People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I look better un-naked...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
