I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
