Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
