Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
