you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
