I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
