Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
