I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
