Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
