I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
