Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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