does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
