Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
