I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
