I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
