Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
