Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
