you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
