It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
