I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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