Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i think i just lost a toe
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
