Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize