Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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