Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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