You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
